Hey, Ready To Dad Crew!

Father’s Day is one of those moments that hits differently depending on where you are in the journey.

For some of us, it is a celebration. Breakfast in bed and crayon cards and little hands that still fit inside yours.

For others, it is complicated. Grief mixed in with the gratitude. A father you lost, or one you are still making sense of. Or a version of yourself you are still working to become.

This week isn’t just about looking back. It’s about being honest with yourself about the kind of dad you want to be moving forward.

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Kids ask questions that land differently than you expect.

A few nights ago, my son asked me what my dad was like when I was his age. Five and a half. Just curious. The way kids are when they are trying to make sense of how the world is connected.

I started to answer. And I stopped.

Because what I was about to say wasn’t really about my father. It was about the kind of dad I’m trying to be with him. The calm. The patience. The being on the floor instead of on the couch. The repair after the hard moments instead of pretending they didn’t happen.

That wasn’t my experience of being five and a half. That is the experience I’m building for him.

Something shifted in me in that moment. Not guilt. Not grief exactly. More like a quiet recognition of the distance between where I came from and where I’m looking to go. And the fact that I’m actually going!

Father's Day is worth more than the brunch and the cards. It’s a moment to ask ourselves the harder question: who is the dad our kids will describe to their kids someday?

Not the performance of fatherhood. The substance of it.

You’re building something right now. In every correction. Every repair. Every time you stay, when you want to leave the room.

That is the legacy. And it is already being written.

You’re closer than you think. Keep moving forward!

The dad your kids will describe someday is the one you are becoming right now.

1. This Father’s Day, ask yourself one question: What do I want my kids to say about me in 20 years? Write down three words. Then look at your week and ask if it reflects them.

2. Tell your kids one true thing about your own childhood this week. Not edited. Not performed. Something real. Let them see that you had a beginning too.

3. If this Father’s Day carries grief along with the gratitude, let it. Both can be true. You do not have to choose.

Legacy is not built in grand moments. It is built in the ones you almost let pass.

A dad I work with is navigating his first Father’s Day since losing his own father. He told me he doesn’t know how to hold the grief and the gratitude at the same time. How to be celebrated while also carrying a loss.

We don’t have to separate them. Grief and gratitude aren’t opposites. They’re both forms of love. The grief is because the love was real. The gratitude is because it still is.

Some of the most grounded fathers I have worked with are men who learned how to hold both at once. It doesn’t make the day easy. It makes it honest.

Reply directly to this email with your question, or use this quick form to submit anonymously. Whether it’s about family routines, connecting with your kids, or managing stress, I’m here to help!

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