How To Shift From Frustration To More Connection

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In This Week’s Newsletter:

• Quote of The Week - "Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you"

• Javaree Talks - Emotional regulation and brain science

• In the News - Prioritizing our own needs and well-being

• Good on Social - Keir Gaines makes a great point

• Money Moves - Use Monarch to monitor your spending and your networth

JAVAREE TALKS 

Before parent coaching, my psychology background mainly was used in work-related instances until I faced my son’s meltdowns over things like leaving the playground, the wrong-colored plate, or when he refused to wear anything but his red shoes and not his purple (his favorite color - pictured above) LeBrons. No amount of reasoning worked. I used to think, Why can’t he calm down?

It was a moment of revelation.

Kids aren’t capable of regulating their emotions yet. Their prefrontal cortex (which controls impulse and reasoning) is still developing, while their amygdala (the emotional center) takes over during distress. They physically can’t “just stop” any more than a toddler can read before learning the letters of the alphabet.

What Changed for Me

My response to my son's emotional outbursts underwent a significant transformation. I transitioned from reacting with frustration to practicing co-regulation, aiding my son in navigating his emotions:

Instead of dismissing his feelings, I made a conscious effort to acknowledge them. Instead of saying, “Stop crying,” I’d affirm, “I understand you’re feeling frustrated. That’s tough.”

Model Calm: My nervous system influenced his. When I stayed regulated, he picked up on it.

Teach Later: Lesson won’t stick when a child is dysregulated. Once calm, we’d talk, “Next time, take deep breaths like smelling a cake and blowing out the candles.”

My son still has big emotions. He’s a kid! But I’ve stopped taking them personally and started guiding him through them instead.

What I'd ask in coaching:

How do you usually respond to your child’s big emotions? What’s one slight shift you could make to support them?

IN THE NEWS

GOOD ON SOCIAL

kiergaines

1 follower

View more on Instagram

MONEY MOVES

One of the most important things a dad can do for a family is take control of his finances. Tracking your income, spending, and investments provides peace of mind and relief, setting a strong foundation for your family’s future.

I use Monarch to stay on top of everything. It’s a game-changer for organizing finances, budgeting, and long-term planning. It’s empowered me to create a system that works for my family, and I highly recommend it.

💡 Special offer for my readers: Use my code HERE for 1 free month of Monarch.💡 (Note: I may receive a commission if you join through my link—thanks for supporting the newsletter!)

Q & A CORNER

Reply directly to this email with your question, or use this quick form to submit anonymously. Whether it’s about family routines, connecting with your kids, or managing stress, I’m here to help!

Let’s tackle parenting together, one question at a time!

GET COACHED

Ready To Dad offers coaching services explicitly tailored for dads with young children.

We help you:

• Discover your core parenting values.

• Learn personalized strategies for growth as a parent.

• Build and maintain a deep connection with your child.

• Establish a self-care and personal growth routine.

We aim to help you feel more fulfilled and confident in your parenting journey.

Please reply to this email to book a free consultation when you're ready to work with me!

HERE FOR YOU

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