Hey, Ready To Dad Crew!

You’ve set up new routines and the schedule is ready, but things still aren’t falling into place. Your kids are pushing back, negotiating, and asking “but why” repeatedly. If you’re questioning whether your expectations are off, you’re not alone. Most dads face this challenge a few weeks into a new season.

This week, we’re focusing on what to do when you know your boundary is right, but your child is still pushing back.

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Every dad who sets a new expectation runs into the same challenge. You explain it clearly, but that doesn’t always mean your kids are ready to handle it by themselves.

I’ve been there myself lately. When routines change, there’s always some negotiation, delays, and lots of “but why” questions. Even after we talk through the new plan, my kids try to slip back into old habits.

My first reaction used to be to correct more, say it again, firmer, and hold the line tighter. But I’m learning that sometimes what’s needed isn’t more correction, but more support.

Scaffolding is straightforward. It means giving our kids just enough help to do something they can’t handle alone yet, then slowly pulling back that support as they improve. This could be using a timer for transitions, laying out clothes the night before, giving a reminder instead of repeating the rule, or breaking a routine into smaller steps instead of expecting them to do it all at once.

The expectation stays the same. We’re not lowering our standards, we’re helping our kids build the skills they need to reach them.

Looking at it this way changed things for me. Resistance stopped feeling like a sign I’d set the wrong boundary. Sometimes it’s just feedback. It shows where there’s a gap between what I’m asking for and what my kids can do on their own right now.

We want our kids to meet our expectations, but getting there takes support, not just repeating ourselves. Our job isn’t just to hold the line. It’s to help build the bridge that gets them there.

Help your child build the skill, but keep your standard steady.

When your child resists, it doesn’t always mean your expectation is wrong. Sometimes, it just means they need more support to reach it.

Help your child build the skill, but keep your standard in place.

In my coaching sessions, I’ve seen dads doubt themselves as soon as their child pushes back against a boundary. They wonder if they made a mistake or if their expectation is the real issue.

Often, the real challenge is telling the difference between “my child doesn’t like this” and “my child can’t do this yet without help.” These are two separate issues, and each needs a different response.

Resistance doesn't automatically mean the expectation is wrong. Sometimes our kids need more support while they develop the skills to meet it. Once dads see that distinction clearly, they stop second-guessing the boundary and start asking a better question. What would make this easier for them to actually do?

If that sounds familiar, reply to this email. That is exactly what coaching is for.

Reply directly to this email with your question, or use this quick form to submit anonymously. Whether it’s about family routines, connecting with your kids, or managing stress, I’m here to help!

Let’s tackle parenting together, one question at a time!

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