Hey, Ready To Dad Crew!

Summer isn’t just a season; it’s a stretch. A stretch of longer days, shifting routines, and the ever-changing rhythm of family life. For working dads, this time of year can feel like a tug-of-war between staying present and staying productive. But summer also holds the chance to stretch emotionally: to stretch our patience, our imagination, and most importantly, our connection with our kids.

Each week this month, I’ll reflect on how to embrace the flexibility and fullness of this season, not just logistically but relationally and emotionally, with a special focus on strengthening our family bonds.

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Some summer days feel like they’ll never end. The sun is still up, the energy is still high, and we’re counting down the minutes to bedtime with one eye on the stove and the other on a half-finished work task. Meanwhile, our preschooler is in full explanation mode, trying to convince us that cleaning up isn’t an option because the fort they are building isn’t “done yet,” and the items on the floor are part of the world they are imagining.

It’s not exactly chaos. But it’s a lot.

On those long days, it’s easy to feel stretched thin or wonder if we’re holding it together at all. We question whether we were patient enough. Present enough. Calm enough.

But here’s what we need to remember, Dad. Our job isn’t to be perfect. It’s to return. To come back to center after a rough moment. This concept of ‘returning’ can make us feel reassured and less pressured. To reset instead of shutting down. To remember that connection doesn’t come from getting it all right. It stems from how we respond after things go awry.

One practice that helps? At the end of a long day, ask yourself, Where did I show up today? There’s always something. Maybe we took a breath before reacting. Maybe we listened a little longer than we wanted to. Perhaps we read that bedtime story even though we were ready to crash.

Why do it

Recognizing and naming those small wins is a powerful tool. It helps keep resentment from building up, offering a sense of relief. It shifts our focus from what went wrong to what went right, and it reminds us that what our kids need isn’t a perfect dad. It’s a present one. Recognizing these small victories can be a valuable source of encouragement and motivation for dads, reinforcing the positive impact of their efforts.

And here’s something else. When we slow down and pay attention, we begin to notice what triggers our kids and what helps them calm down. That kind of awareness is powerful. It helps us respond with care instead of just correction. Over time, it allows us to get to know our kids, not just their routines.

This is emotional intelligence in action. It’s about understanding and managing our own emotions, as well as being aware of how our actions and words impact our kids. We’re learning to tune into our kids’ feelings and our own, which can be a powerful and empowering experience. We’re learning to regulate in real time, even when it’s messy. And we’re modeling something that stays with them long after the day is done. This sense of empowerment from understanding and managing emotions can make us feel more confident and capable as parents.

Presence builds trust. Understanding builds safety. And both start when we’re willing to notice. This emphasis on the role of our presence in building trust can make us feel more responsible and committed as parents, reinforcing the importance of our role in our children’s lives.

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I use Monarch to stay on top of everything. It’s a game-changer for organizing finances, budgeting, and long-term planning. It’s empowered me to create a system that works for my family, and I highly recommend it.

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Reply directly to this email with your question, or use this quick form to submit anonymously. Whether it’s about family routines, connecting with your kids, or managing stress, I’m here to help!

Let’s tackle parenting together, one question at a time!

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