Fatherhood Reflections: Lessons from Usher's Journey

Hey, Ready To Dad Crew!

It's great to have you here!

If you love what you read today in this newsletter and aren’t already subscribed, you can sign up below.

If you’re already subscribed, enjoy, and share with a friend.

In This Week’s Newsletter:

In This Week’s Newsletter:

• Quote of The Week - "I’m inspired by the love people have for their children. And I’m inspired by my own children, how full they make my heart. They make me want to work to make the world a little bit better. And they make me want to be a better man.” - Former US President Barack Obama

• In The News - Top parenting news stories from last week, including a judgement free perspective on screen time.

• Javaree Talks - Secure Attachment

IN THE NEWS

JAVAREE THOUGHTS

I’ve admired Usher’s music for over two decades, with hits like “Nice & Slow,” “My Way,” “Confessions,” and “You Got It Bad” being some of my favorites. Usher, a significant influence in music and culture, was recently honored at the 2024 BET Awards. As a father of four, he shared powerful stories about his experiences as a child, father, husband, and co-parent, declaring this year “The Year of the Father.”

In his acceptance speech, Usher reflected on his journey and the impact of growing up without his father fully present, something he's talked about previously. He stressed the importance of understanding and forgiveness. Usher highlighted fathers’ critical role in their children’s lives, urging dads to stand up for their sons and daughters. His heartfelt message showcased his dedication to fatherhood and the valuable lessons he’s learned along the way.

Usher’s story underscores the profound impact of our presence and the importance of bonding with our children. Here’s how these themes connect to attachment science, a core pillar in my coaching:

Build connection over control:

Usher’s emphasis on standing up for our children highlights the importance of being present and connected. When prioritizing connection over control, we create a supportive environment where our children feel understood and valued. Authentic influence comes from understanding and supporting our children rather than enforcing strict rules and expecting compliance.

This approach creates a trusting and respectful relationship between us and our children. When they feel genuinely connected to us, they are likelier to listen, cooperate, and internalize values and lessons.

Embrace playfulness and Curiosity:

Just as Usher overcame hardships through resilience and creativity, we can foster a playful and curious environment for our children. Engaging in shared activities builds solid emotional bonds and promotes healthy development. Playfulness should be seen as a fundamental way of understanding the world, not as a distraction from serious learning.

Play is a child’s natural medium for learning. Engaging in play can nurture our children’s curiosity and encourage a love for learning and it also helps them develop critical thinking skills and emotional intelligence.

Redefine Success:

Usher’s journey shows that success isn’t defined by traditional measures but by personal growth and resilience. We, as dads, can help our children develop healthy self-esteem by celebrating individual achievements and nurturing their unique abilities. Shifting the focus from external achievements to personal growth allows children to thrive uniquely.

Shifting the focus from external achievements to personal growth allows our children to thrive uniquely. It reduces pressure and anxiety, fostering a supportive environment where they feel valued for who they are.

Usher’s reflections remind us that fatherhood is a journey of growth, learning, and immense responsibility. We can support our children’s holistic development and nurture their futures with empathy and love by fostering connection, playfulness, and redefining success. Let’s embrace this journey together, standing up for our children and being the fathers they need us to be.

DAD JOKE OF THE WEEK

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
.
.
.
.
.
Nacho cheese!!