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Parenting in public can feel different from being at home.

When other people are watching, the pressure can really go up. Maybe your child has a meltdown in the grocery store, gets upset at the park, or cries while everyone else goes about their day. Suddenly, it feels like everyone around you is involved too.

That kind of pressure can honestly change how we respond.

We might feel tempted to react fast, raise our voice, or try to end the situation quickly just so others see that we’re “handling it.”

I’ve felt that way too. Sometimes, it’s almost automatic, like remembering my parents saying, “Don’t embarrass me.”

Last week, I had one of those moments with my child in public. Emotions were high, and I could see people watching us. For a second, I wanted to get louder and more forceful to feel in control. Instead, I chose to speak more quietly.

I slowed down and moved closer to my child instead of reacting more strongly. The situation didn’t disappear, but it stayed calmer than if I had matched my child’s energy.

That experience reminded me of something important. We’re not there to lead the crowd; we’re there to lead our child.

Those are two completely different roles.

When we feel embarrassed, parenting can start to feel like a performance. We worry more about how things look than about what our child needs. But most kids aren’t trying to embarrass us. They’re just overwhelmed, tired, hungry, dealing with change, or having trouble handling big feelings in public.

That doesn’t mean we stop setting boundaries for our kids.

It just means our leadership matters even more in those moments.

Public embarrassment fades quickly. Most people forget what happened within minutes. But how we handle those moments stays with our kids much longer.

When we stay calm under pressure, our kids feel safer. They count on us to be steady while they’re still learning to manage their own feelings.

Honestly, this kind of leadership takes practice for all of us.

Kids learn to regulate their emotions by watching and connecting with the adults around them, especially during tough moments.

If we get more upset in public, our kids often do too. But when we stay calm and steady, we help them feel safe and able to calm down, too.

These moments help children learn about safety, trust, and how to handle their emotions.

Focus on leading your child, not the people watching.

Next time you feel overwhelmed while parenting, pause. Take a moment before reacting to the people around you. Try to lower your voice rather than raise it.
Move closer to your child instead of reacting more strongly.
Focus on helping your child feel safe enough to calm down.

Ask yourself this question:

“What does my child need from me right now, not what does this moment look like to everyone else?”

Most people will soon forget what happened.

But your child will remember how it felt to get through it with you.

Reply directly to this email with your question, or use this quick form to submit anonymously. Whether it’s about family routines, connecting with your kids, or managing stress, I’m here to help!

Let’s tackle parenting together, one question at a time!

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