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In This Week’s Newsletter
Quote of the Week - “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” - Viktor Frankl
Javaree Talks - How to hold boundaries without losing connection
In the News -
Good on Social -
JAVAREE TALKS
On Thursday, I asked for something simple.
“Shoes on.”
It should’ve taken thirty seconds. No longer than 1 minute.
Instead, it turned into wandering. Then playing. Then negotiating. Then ignoring.
I felt that familiar tightness in my chest. In my mind, if this child doesn't get to school on time, the domino effect kicks in, and everyone is late. I took a deep breath. Part of me wanted to raise my voice just enough to get their attention.
You know the tone I mean, where it's not yelling, but sharper and more forceful.
For a moment, it seemed quicker.
But I paused.
I stepped closer, lowered myself, and spoke calmly.
“Shoes on. We are leaving.”
No extra words. No sharpness.
There was still resistance. A little testing. A glance to see if I meant it.
I held the line. Same tone. Same expectation.
Eventually, the shoes went on, though on the wrong feet; it was just enough to get to the car seat before I could fix them.
It wasn’t because I raised my voice.
It was because I stayed steady.
Authority isn’t about being intense. It’s about being consistent.
When we escalate, kids escalate.
When we anchor, they borrow that anchor.
They’re not asking, “Can you overpower me?” They’re asking, “Will this boundary hold?”
Calmness answers that question better than raising your voice ever could.
Children learn what power looks like at home.
If power looks like:
• Emotional spikes
• Raised voices
• Pressure
They learn intensity equals control.
If power looks like:
• Clear expectations
• Predictable follow-through
• Emotional steadiness
They learn strength without aggression.
That’s a gem that lasts.
TAKEAWAY
You don’t have to raise your voice to be taken seriously.
FROM TAKEAWAY TO ACTION
Before the next boundary moment:
• Decide the limit ahead of time
• Say it once, clearly
• Step closer instead of raising your voice
• Follow through without adding emotion
Being steady shows strength.
GOOD ON SOCIAL
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